Yama and NiYama – Practical application 3

This blog tries to delve into the depths of NiYama (Internal Control). The elements of NiYama are;

Soucham is cleanliness. 

External Cleanliness: Whilst we are reasonably aware and follow the basic rules of hygiene such as brushing, bathing etc., a more sensitive and difficult area is food hygiene. We often eat from the same plate, share the same food item or mix cooking and eating utensils. This can be dangerous because it enables the transmission of contagious virus through sharing of liquids and food. A good habit to acquire would be avoiding sharing food with others and keeping cooking and eating utensils separate. In fact, there is a law in the US whereby, a person who takes food out of a restaurant buffet cannot put it back even if he has a fresh plate and has just started the buffet. The food taken but not used should be destroyed. This is to avoid propagation of virus and germs.

Internal cleanliness is a process. All stimuli result in stress, either eustress which motivates or distress which induces a fight or flight response. Unfortunately in many situations, fight, flight or enthusiasm are not possible, so the stress builds up as anxiety and fear increases. This needs to be purged. One way is exercise, but if that is not available as an option or not possible in the circumstances, then one needs to use auto-suggestive techniques to calm down and regain clarity of thinking. This can be split into 3 elements – Physical – where auto-suggestive relaxation techniques is used to calm the muscles; Emotional – where breathing is used to calm frayed emotions; Intellectual – where rationalization is used to generate alternatives which are not escapist or to generate an intellectual picture which contrasts the stressor.

Santosham (contentment) is actually expectation management. This ability requires understanding of the stimulus; breaking it down into its constituent elements, analysing the data, understanding the response required, preparing the response and responding. The opportunity for contentment comes when we tone our expectations to more realistic outcomes or accept the outcome presented to us. This does not mean sacrificing of ambition; it means reducing resistance to tactical outcomes such that one is able to refocus on the goal, therefore a feeling of achievement and contentment. In some cases, it may mean recalibration of goals and expectations or acceptance that certain goals cannot be reached or accepting the solution available, which is a form of expectation management.

Svadhyayam (self-learning) – In a changing world, developing new skills is the price of staying ahead. This means studying or getting exposed to new products, practices or technologies. While we willingly do this for material gain or ambition, we often sacrifice efforts required to comprehend our internal decision making process, tools and skills… our conditioning and our identity. This change can come only when we accept the need for change because it is we that need to change. This often means dealing with uncomfortable elements of our personality and taking the steps necessary to address those issues which need solutions in the manner required, not in the manner convenient. 

This is done using 2 tools –Mimamsa or introspection which is reflecting on the impact of stimulus on our sense of identity and conditioning, confronting our fears and deciding the course of change and Svikruta which is acceptance of current state, and its impact on our conditioning and identity.

Sahana (patience) and shraddha (commitment) – Once we have decided that we need to change, we expect it to be instantaneous. It doesn’t happen that way… some changes are easy, but those which are ingrained deep in our psyche as conditioning or as part of our identity are very difficult to change. Also, we expect that just because we have changed, others should appreciate and change with us. That doesn’t happen either and this can be very frustrating. Here our ability to be patient, stay committed to the course of change, keep cleaning ourselves, having clarity of expectations ensure that we are able to manage change effectively.

Sharana (Surrender) – is the ability to subsume one’s identity into a higher one. Surrender is always the surrender of one’s identity and it is always to a higher ideal or power, which in itself is manifestation of an identity. One never surrender’s to one’s car or laptop. It’s always to a higher ideal such as a favourite deity, master, concept or ability. Surrender of one’s identity comes after years of practice of the above NiYama steps.

Dana (giving) and tapas (austerity) – ability to change is an exercise of self-improvement. Dana of giving helps one give up baggage. First, it is always things one does not need, then slowly it is stuff which has value, no matter how small and finally, it is material associated with precious things – it metamorphoses from an expression of one’s identity to one of altruism and finally to a situation where there is no judgement or expectation of return. Tapasis the practice of disciplining the sense of identity to isolating those aspects which need to be purged.

Surrender and Tapas are both advanced level NiYamas and come after years of practice, introspection and sustained effort.

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Yama and NiYama – Practical application 2

This post addresses satya (truth), astheya (non-seeking), brahmacharyam (sexual continence) and aparigraha (equanimity).

To make these concepts relevant to today’s reality, truth has been expanded to integrity, non-seeking to team work and sexual continence to diversity management. Equanimity cannot be expanded or changed.

What is common in all the above attributes? It is the ability to work in harmony with others.

What is the basis of effective functioning of these attributes? Some essential requirements would be;

Ability to inspire trust in others: It is simply not possible to function in a team if the team mates don’t trust you. So, how does one inspire trust in others? To start with, the gap between one’s words and actions should be minimal. This is integrity. One should not take that which is not one’s due; for instance, if someone has worked for the team, he should be acknowledged. Otherwise, the lack of integrity will destroy the team cohesiveness. Similarly, not respecting the diversity of others could lead to isolation of individuals, thus reducing team cohesiveness.

Ability to control fear and anger: Anger arises from fear. Fear always arises due to probable loss of identity and manifests itself as anger. Fear is can be very destructive because of the uncertainty it introduces into outcomes. Due to its nebulous quality, fear has the ability to destroy individuals and because it is easy to transmit, it can destroy teams and even civilizations. But, fear has the ability to disappear once it is confronted. How many feel fear before a test, going on stage or the annual appraisal only to see it disappear once the exam or show starts?

Fear destroys integrity because it makes one do what one would not ordinarily do, damaging the yoking between our identity and action, leading to damage to our sense of identity – or Svatantra. The ability to comprehend the truth in any situation, confront our fears and that of others and to follow through without compromise is a very critical test of integrity. This applies to teams also. The ability to not take what one has not worked for is both astheya and sathya.  Finally, as in any situation, the team identity will be subjected to stress and fear of consequences of failure. Emotional balance within the team and its members can easily be lost, but must be retained if fear needs to be overcome and the goal reached. This is the role played by leaders.

It is a historical fact that the losing side in any battle suffers maximum casualties not because of the battle but during retreat and flight when fear, anxiety and panic grip the soldiers, leading to loss of unit cohesion and become easy prey for the victorious soldiers.

How does one control anxiety attacks and bouts of fear? Not easily. One has to keep confronting one’s fear which will come in various forms and slowly overcome them. This will take time and one will need to be aware of one’s behavior and the underlying fears driving those behaviors.

For example – how often do we hear the term – “he makes me so angry”. Well, actually how can the other person make anyone angry? It happens because we have given the other person the permission to make us angry! If we refuse to get angry, then no one can force us into that state.

Change, the great equalizer: The only constant about change is change itself. Change brings uncertainty and consequently fear of outcome and its impact on our identity or the identity of the team. Change impacts our integrity, our dealing with others, forcing conflict, adjustments as well as control over diversity and equanimity.

Recognising the reality of change is critical for managing change. The first step is acceptance of change followed by confrontation of the fear of change and its impact on our sense of identity. This is followed by coping, response and finally feedback which leads to another cycle of change.

Ability to deal with diversity is critical: As the world becomes a smaller place, our ability to deal with differences in cultures, sexual divergences, food habits, cleanliness, values and behavior becomes a critical requirement. Why is it a problem?

We are all brought up in a particular environment with certain values and systems which we imbibe and use as guiding beacons in life situations. This is conditioning or Dharma. When we are confronted with another Dharma, we are able to adjust to those changes which are closely aligned with our own but as the divergence increases the ability to cope reduces, increasing stress.

In extreme cases, this can lead to dysfunctional behavior such as violence or abuse. How does one increase one’s tolerance to diversity? Assimilate what you like, accommodate what you can, compensate if you need to, ignore if the situation is beyond your control and finally, if the situation is really terrible, disengage and walk away until balance is achieved again. If the anxiety is above this scale, seek medical help.

What is a measure of success that one is progressing in the right direction? Change is constant, our drive and ambition force us into various situations where we are either drivers or responders. If in this process, we are able to retain Homeostasis or harmony of our psychosomatic systems or if we are able to recover our balance quickly after we are subjected to any stimulus, then we can say that we are progressing…

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Yama and NiYama - Practical application - 1

All theory is only as good as its applicability. So, let us see how we can implement the principles of Yama and NiYama. For this part of the blog, I will be reaching into my own experience, hence, some of the tools which I suggest may not apply to you. The objective is to share some experience for you to develop your own solutions which befit your situation and personality.
Ahimsa (non-violence): Ahimsa needs to cover anger, fear and conflict. My suggestions are;

Choose your battle: When we are young we got into multiple activities, often taking relationships for granted in the rush to prove our self-worth. These activities cement our sense of identity but the momentum of youth is often unsustainable as we grow older, mostly because the original need to prove our capabilities cease to be valid – as the emphasis moves from achievement to relationship. Also, the increased load conflicts with new priorities that arise, leading to stress. Hence, it is important to exit from activities which no longer create value or conform to our sense of identity. The slowing down allows us time to recover from any destabilization that may impact us on a day-to-day basis, simultaneously giving us time to build our emotional and spiritual intelligence.

Control: How does one discriminate which activity to engage in and what to leave? Look at whether you are responsible for the outcome and whether you can control it. If you are neither responsible nor have any control over the end result, then its best that you avoid active engagement.

Saying "No": Finally, if you want to get out of an activity which is being thrust on you, say “No”. It’s often hard, but the consequences of not biting the bullet in the beginning can mean getting shot in the end!

Conflict management: Ancient Indian literature recommends 4 escalation phases in any conflict: Sama (negotiation – conducting an adult conversation on the resolution), Dama (inducement or trade off, bargaining, exchange or any form of compromise for a solution), Bheda (influencing – using indirect pressure for affect a solution) and Dhanda (stick – applying punishment as a solution).

I have applied a more mathematical rule to this escalation – Sama (negotiation) should be used in 90% of all conflict resolution situations. Dama (inducement or trade-off) should be used in 90% of the remaining 10% situations or 9% of all solutions. While the measure of success for negotiation is consensus, for inducement – it is compromise, all sides gain and lose a little. Bheda is indirect pressure, influence or splitting of the opposing team and should be used in 90% of the remaining 1% of situations. Finally, Danda is the balance 0.01% choice for resolution management.

Obviously, the escalation in any conflict should be negotiation, followed by inducement, influence and finally stick or punishment. Needless to say, once a stick is used, then the conflict can rapidly spiral out of control and there is no telling how it will end.

Politeness always works: This I learned while watching the cartoon “Barney” with my kids… “Say please and thank you, these are the magic words” and indeed they are, with an ability to reduce temperatures at bring logical discussion back on track. Don’t forget to say “Sorry”, even though it seems to be the hardest word, when appropriate.

Separating the person from the problem: One of the first advices I received on the shop floor was to separate the person from the problem. As a youngster I did not understand this advice fully, but over time, I have found this to be a very good and easy-to-use tool which reduces tension during any transaction. When the identity is not under threat, then the other person is amenable for a rational discussion.
It is also a very important tool when punishments have to be delivered. It allows a personal reach of empathy to the person affected by use of power.
How does one implement this suggestion? Focus on the action – “I think this is a better option” or “this action has the following consequences, hence should be avoided” instead of “how could you do this?” or “what were you thinking when you did this?” or “Are you out of your mind?” It is obvious that I do not view Ahimsa as “turning the other cheek”. The reason is that when you turn the other cheek and the other person doesn’t respect your sacrifice, but slaps that too, the damage to the person’s sense of identity can be debilitating. It requires enormous strength of character to be able to absorb an assault on one’s sense of identity without reacting, either outward into the environment or inward into the self.

I also do not think Ahimsa is non-violence under any circumstances. I define Ahimsa as non-violence which does not damage the sense of identity of any entity we interact with. This includes people, animals, plants and environment and most importantly, our own sense of Identity.

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Yama and Niyama 2 – Why they are important

The elements of Yama are ahimsa (non-violence); sathya (truth or integrity); brahmacharyam (sexual continence or diversity control); asteya (non-stealing & teaming); aparigraha (equanimity) and mitahara (diet control).

The elements of NiYama are soucham (cleanliness); santhosham (contentment); svadhyeyam (referencing); sahana (patience) and shraddha (sincerity); sharana (surrender).

Now, step back a bit, look at elements of both aspects as one would a spread of food on the table and imagine what kind of a cuisine one might get if all the above elements were integrated into one’s life.

One might be forgiven if one were to say that a person possessing all of the above qualities would be boring… Even theoretically, it seems improbable for one person to have all the above qualities in completeness. But, to have and use the above qualities appropriately in situations is invaluable to success and peace of mind, even at the risk of being boring. In fact, most of the behavior which all the major religions and life coaches propound is covered in the above elements. It’s about 3000 years old and free!

All it requires is usage and sensitivity to feedback. One will always start with a situation, receive feedback, which should be reflected with change incorporated to make the change a part of one’s lifestyle. As the lessons get imbibed, there is greater experience of harmony with the environment as with one’s own decisions and ability to handle outcomes, reactions and fall-outs.

One shall experience three levels of awareness – jagrat – awareness which comes with presence in a situation; swapna – residual images from the situation and those of fear, anxiety and anger; and sushupti – an intuition which develops from practice of yama and niyama which gives awareness of non verbal and non physical stimuli even when away from the situation. The last part is most difficult and comes with a proper mix of engagement, reflection and discrimination. This means… experience.

Share your opinion and experiences;

• Why is personal development so difficult?
• Is ambition good or bad? When does ambition become an illness?
• How important are friends to conditioning? Can one become a champion, if one were to keep company with the champions?
• How important is discussion of for personal development?
• How important is a Guru, master, mentor or coach? What role do they play in one’s development?
• To get to the level of intuition, one needs lots of experience. Does this mean that there is no painless way to development? That one has to act, make mistakes, correct, face criticisms, reversals and fear before one feels a harmony with the environment?
• Inaction is also action.
• Even when not doing, we are allowing action to happen. Comment.

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